make us a prayer, let our prayers be a cry
humble our hearts so that You may draw nigh
cause us to stand and cry out for this land
cause us to be a people set free
to stand, as a house of prayer

this past weekend has been a stressful one, and filled with drama… God is really breaking my family. it’s so clear to me, that God wants them to see that there is nothing to live for in life besides for Himself, but they are so blind to it… how will they ever see that no matter how much success my brother and i turn out to be, they will still not be happy? and how will my brother see that the reason he feels so miserable and lost right now is that void in his heart where God should be right now? how will they see that without being set free by the blood of Christ, no one can know true joy?

He spoke to me today through Scripture. it was quite random how i happened upon these verses, but nonetheless they are relevant, and i know it’s what God’s saying to me, my dad, my mom, and my brother:

“unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
it is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for He gives to His beloved sleep.”
-Psalm 127:1-2

but what can i do except pray??? it’s so frustrating, knowing that what i say does not matter to them… but i know that when i am weak, then i am strong, and Christ’s power is made perfect in my weakness… somehow.

woooow so cool!

test 1, 2, 3…

praises:

• euna lee & laura ling pardoned by the north korean government– can you believe it?! they’re coming home! PRAISE GOD!! http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/08/04/nkorea.clinton/index.html
• michael h. gets the job offer we’ve been praying for!!! PRAISE GOD!! this couple is so blessed… =)
• mick got his mcat scores back– and he did amazing!! PRAISE GOD!!!
• dad agrees to let me get EMT training. i really thought he would be against it. PRAISE GOD!!!

prayer requests:

• mike’s taking his lsat in september and he’s really nervous & stressed =\
• my EMT application– and that i’ll find a job after that and get the hours i need for PA school!!! =X
• an amazing opportunity for roshni http://www.malarianomore.org/worldbriefing. pray that God will inspire her and give her a heart for this cause!
• koinonia + incoming freshmen <3

thinking about post-graduation life really stresses me out. if anyone asks me how i’m doing, the honest answer is STRESSED OUT!! i think i’m forgetting how to do things one step at a time. i keep thinking ahead and end up jumbling everything in my brain…

but the Lord sent me this verse yesterday:

“humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you” – 1 peter 5:6-7.

praise God =)

i hope the title isn’t misleading…

yesterday i came across this article on interfaith dialogue. what really intrigued me was that it was about a muslim professor giving a lecture to students in a christian seminary. it was profoundly eye-openning and very, very humbling– the muslim professor was asking our christian leaders to be more christian!!! how ironic is that? christians are so terrified of fitting into that social stereotype of an ignorant, bible-beating freak, that they would rather take up religious relativism than stand up for their beliefs. and i am one of them, sadly enough. and because we are not honest with people, society has developed their own idea of what they think christians are… but here’s what professor patel says:

“Don’t be afraid to be Christian ministers. If you don’t use the Christian narrative to define reality for your people, then someone else will define reality for them with a different narrative.“

in this context, he is talking to future pastors and other christian leaders, but i think it can be applied to the rest of us as well. there’s no use arguing with someone on the issue of homosexuality or abortion or whatever outside the context of your religion, especially if Jesus Christ is your God, because your reality is defined by that. we’re not asked to agree with other religions or accept that “all religions lead to the same God.” we’re called to love our neighbors. that does not require the abandonment of our religion, i don’t think. that’s why i should be “more christian”.  =P

carrie’s wedding was beautiful, i must say. although, the whole time, i couldn’t shake the feeling that we were just playing dress up and soon everything would be as it was. it didn’t feel very real at all =P

a combination of wedding fever & staci’s crazy origami creations this past year has inspired me to use origami flowers at my wedding. i’ve been ecstatic at the idea ever since i came up with it 4 hours ago… until i googled origami weddings and it returned 12,023,863 results– that definitely puts a damper on it (i really like this bouquet, btw, but not because of the dollar bills =P).  still, i think it can potentially be environmentally friendly (better to use trees that are already dead and dyed rather than flowers freshly picked just for your wedding… right?). i want tiffany blue and lemony yellow roses! =)

i like colorful church pamphlets, a rather convenient demonstration. the problem with this idea is it will be extremely time-consuming… this one took me 15 minutes to make. multiply that time by like 800 for the bouquets, the decorations, the centerpieces…. that’s a whopping 200 hours of origami-making, a.k.a. 1/5 of the hours of patient care experience i need to apply to PA schools O_o…  staci has agreed to be my ‘florist’, so hopefully she’s much more effecient than i am. afterall, she was the one who taught me how to make the rose =P

i wonder how biblical it is to indulge myself in these fansiful ideas… james 4:13-17 kind of just chides at me in the back of my mind when i start looking at wedding color schemes and dress designs, etc… but everyone else does it! you know you do, don’t lie.

i also happened upon this website, and it blew my mind O.o haha, i am so doing that to our toilet paper from now on. XD

O Lord, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting i am!
Behold, You have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before You.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!

did you hear about this?!

apparently it’s pretty popular among teens…?
i am thoroughly amused, curious, and skeptical. =D

so… i was really excited about the fact that my aunt wanted to go to church with me… until i realized she didn’t. when i asked her again three days ago to make sure that we were going, my mom immediately objected to the idea, to the apparent relief of my aunt. i’ve been really bummed about this, and even angry with God at a certain point. this is a lot harder than i thought it was going to be. i thought i was just back in taiwan for a vacation, and evangelizing “on the side.” but i realized it’s not that easy. God has provided me with lots of opportunities for conversations, but people are only willing to listen, not to accept. it’s the worldview of relativism. “you believe this. that’s great, that can be your truth, but i’m not gonna have anything to do with it.” i kept thinking i had time to change their hearts, but time flew by, and now i only have a week. and i’ve been talking to my aunt on msn since my freshman year, and at one point she even “accepted” Jesus into her life… but she was like the seed that fell on a rock– she sprouted briefly but faded away immediately. why is it easier for some people to just accept God’s salvation, and so tough and impossible for others?

‘finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places’ (ephesians 6:10-12). i will not despair. God is crazy for using me to fight His battle, but He promises that He will be my strength. i feel weary, but i will take up the shield of faith, with which i can extingish all the flaming darts from the evil one (eph. 6:16). thank God for roshni, who pulled this passage out as soon as i told her about my predicament. please pray for taiwan? i don’t know what to do next…